When does no mean yes? I’ll tell you when. When you’re three. That’s right. When you’re three, going on four, very soon, “NO! I do NOT haf ta go potty!”, really means, “Why, yes! Yes I do. Right-this-very-second-or-I’m-gonna-pee-my-pants!”. Another time no means yes? When you’re eight, going on nine, apparently. As in, “Did you have time to finish your lunch today?”. Now, commonsense would dictate that an answer of “No” would indicate that one did not, in fact, have time to finish their lunch that day; therefore making the mama feel obligated to whip up a huge snack for the child to help him recharge his batteries after school. Then, upon opening said child’s lunchbox , one actually finds it empty. Ta-da! See how that works?
Admittedly, though, the one that drives me bonkers is the “unspoken no” that Sweetdog gives. This usually takes place on a rainy day when I have six things that need to be done at once, in short order. Being the good plotter and planner that I am, I take elderly Sweetdog outside for a “pre-emptive potty time” so that I won’t be interrupted mid-shower/exercise/phone call. She patiently tiptoes through the wet grass and looks back at me with those sad, ol’ puppy dog eyes to indicate that no, she does not need to go. We come back inside, wipe her paws, take off my rain boots, and I begin the activity that I was attempting to get through uninterrupted. And, voila`, instantly, Sweetdog is at the door, barking that “Yes, NOW! Now I do indeed need to go back outside in the rain to go potty or I will pee on the floor. Right here, right now!”. Or something along those lines. Alas…
At least Sweetman gets that your ‘no’ should be no, and your ‘yes’ should be yes. I told him recently how this aggravates me to no end. And he agreed. In fact, he kindly reminded me that every once in a while, (he has a talent for making mole hills out of mountains), we’ll have a conversation that goes a little something like this:
Sweetman: “Honey, it sounds like you’ve had a rough day. Want to do take-out for dinner?”
Me: “No, we should be healthy. I’ll make a salad.”
Later that evening after salad is consumed…
Me: “We should have done take-out.”
Sweetman: “I asked and you said no!”
No. The other yes. Sometimes, it’s what’s for dinner.