Five Minute Friday – Grasp

I’m linking up with Tales From A Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday again.  Free-writing for 5 minutes flat.  No editing. No overthinking.  Just write it!

Grasp…

Your inability to grasp the deeper meaning behind my facial expressions is sometimes beyond my ability to accept.  I beam at you with pride as you wear  your I-don’t-give-a-rip Autism colors so brightly.  I look at you, my eyebrows like giant question marks, as I try to decode the phrase you’ve just used to tell me what you want.  I swipe away angry hot tears at the unwanted attention your fierce loyalty to the “red swing ONLY!” brings.  You notice none of it.  You only grasp happy or mad.  And I am neither.

I am, however, your mama.  And I am swollen with another life inside of me.  I wonder if this one will be different?  Will she grasp what a treasure you are to our family?  Will she flare with annoyance when your Autism rears it’s sometimes-uglier head in her affairs.  Will she realize that she was born for this very family?  Another puzzle piece.  Like the very many we’ve spent the last years gathering together about you?

My prayer for you, my child with Autism, who has brought us such a beautiful range of emotions in a spectrum I never could have imagined?  My prayer is that you will grasp how very deeply you are loved.  Not just by us, the other pieces in your family puzzle, but by a God who made you exactly the way that you are.  And what are you? You, my child, are thepuzzle piece that connects us all together, here on this earth.

And I can grasp that.  Oh, indeed I do!

“And I pray that you…. may…grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep is the love of Christ…”

Ephesians 3:17,18

STOP

Just so as ya’ know, I am NOT pregnant again.  This was actually adapted from an old journal entry from 2008.  It’s funny how rereading old thoughts can spark a new perspective.  I love how this word did that for me!

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21 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday – Grasp

  1. As others said, a lovely post. I have tried to write a comment several times, but can’t quite get the words out the right way. Your words and thoughts are inspiring, and very touching. I have to leave it at that. Thank you for the verse, too.

  2. Pingback: Five Minute Friday: Grasp | Even A Girl Like Me

  3. Beautiful words, You painted a clear picture of the life of autism as well as expressing perfectly the love of a mother for her child…….and yet ever DEEPER is the love of Christ (that is sometimes hard to fathom!). 🙂

  4. I love this — number one for the laugh of your little “I’m not pregnant” disclaimer. And too your honesty about trying to understand — and the frustration that goes long with. My youngest is a challenging one. I understand the “angry hot tears.” Then you end with the image of the puzzle piece and how we all fit together as the family that God created. Love that. Great writing.

  5. This is a beautiful post! I taught kiddos with autism & though I wasn’t their mama, I shared many of your feelings. My boys were amazing & it was (and is) my prayer that everyone else would see what I saw in the beautiful lives before me.

    Visiting from Five Minute Friday!

    Blessings,
    Heather

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