I’m linking up with Tales From A Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday again. Free-writing for 5 minutes flat. No editing. No overthinking. Just write it!
Your inability to grasp the deeper meaning behind my facial expressions is sometimes beyond my ability to accept. I beam at you with pride as you wear your I-don’t-give-a-rip Autism colors so brightly. I look at you, my eyebrows like giant question marks, as I try to decode the phrase you’ve just used to tell me what you want. I swipe away angry hot tears at the unwanted attention your fierce loyalty to the “red swing ONLY!” brings. You notice none of it. You only grasp happy or mad. And I am neither.
I am, however, your mama. And I am swollen with another life inside of me. I wonder if this one will be different? Will she grasp what a treasure you are to our family? Will she flare with annoyance when your Autism rears it’s sometimes-uglier head in her affairs. Will she realize that she was born for this very family? Another puzzle piece. Like the very many we’ve spent the last years gathering together about you?
My prayer for you, my child with Autism, who has brought us such a beautiful range of emotions in a spectrum I never could have imagined? My prayer is that you will grasp how very deeply you are loved. Not just by us, the other pieces in your family puzzle, but by a God who made you exactly the way that you are. And what are you? You, my child, are thepuzzle piece that connects us all together, here on this earth.
And I can grasp that. Oh, indeed I do!
“And I pray that you…. may…grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep is the love of Christ…”
Just so as ya’ know, I am NOT pregnant again. This was actually adapted from an old journal entry from 2008. It’s funny how rereading old thoughts can spark a new perspective. I love how this word did that for me!