It’s called, “Get a Clue”. Why are we playing? Well, it’s been A Day. You know, one of those Extraordinary Days where you aren’t sure what exactly happened in the last 24 hours? You are, however, painfully aware that you are sitting on the tail end of that time frame with a headache the size of Montana and a patience wire all sorts of fritzed out. Let’s play.
It all started with a visit from long distance best friends and their children last night. We were in full-on entertaining mode and the children were in full-on We Are So Gonna Be A Mess Tomorrow mode. I should have known. Clue #1. My sinuses had been acting up all day. It was darn near difficult to breathe and downright impossible to enjoy a glass of wine. Clue #2.
This morning, we were almost late to the bus. We weren’t, mind you. But when a child insists on riding the bus and only the bus, almost is near catastrophe. Upon arriving at the bus stop, we realized that “we” left our water bottle behind. Dear John! Clue #3
The thermometer screamed at me. It was official; I had to miss Bible Study. I detest few things. I detest having to miss my time with my girls and my Bible every Thursday morning. Clue #4
Sinuses being completely on strike, I thought I’d rustle up some homemade soup around lunchtime. Or Progresso. Whichever was easiest. I voted for Progresso. As I was the only one voting, I won! (Best election E.V.E.R.!) And, I found one solitary can left in the pantry. I was ecstatic! Until I chanced to look at the bottom of the can and find this:
You see, this date was sketchy, even to my standards. Oh, yes indeedy, I do have standards, people. But they are slightly higher than this. And that’s probably because I distinctly remember buying this can of soup about, oh, say… a year ago. And it worried me a tad that something that can sit on a shelf for a sweet forever might be so very near its expiration date. No? Clue #5
Sweetboy informed me that he is “6% nocturnal. Sometimes, maybe 8%.” I was not aware. This could be because we had an odd run-in with a bat when he was an infant. Or, it could just be that he is odd. We love him all the more because of it. This revelation came after he spent the better part of an hour filled with tantrums about having “comprehension”. Which, we English also refer to as “constipation”. Just to be clear. Clue #6
So, just to sum up, if we take clues one through six and apply systematic Mom Analysis… I believe I won!
I should have stayed in bed. Indeed!