This note that Sweetboy let fly down from the second floor after an especially difficult (and totally Devil Dog worthy) day, was So Very Hard for me to read.
It hurt. It hurt So Very Much to read that my Sweetboy, whom God created in unique and quirky and wonderful ways, was feeling this way. He’s been going through a rough patch where he questions why God made him they way He did, why he (Sweetboy) doesn’t have any hobbies like other kids his age do, and what (if anything) he’s good at (there is So Very Much that he is good at!). It’s in these very raw moments that I’m so easily tempted to rail with him. But I will not.
Why am I sharing something so private with you? I’d be willing to bet my last Devil Dog that there are more than a few of you out there who have kidlets (typical or not) who’ve felt the same way at one time or another. Heck, I’d bet some of us, ourselves, have felt this way at one time or another. True?
And I refuse to allow the enemies of Isolation, Depression, or Angst to persuade me to wallow in this by myself. There is strength in numbers. And community. I’m blessed to know the power that a well timed “Say That!”, or “Been There!” can bring; especially to a battle weary mama who just can’t move forward without a whole lotta’ Heaven-sent wind blowing at her back.
There is, however, always a silver lining. Sometimes, we get to see, this side of Heaven, how in the blue blazes all of this mess comes together. And sometimes, we don’t. But, it always does. Oh yes indeedy. That’s a promise. One I cling to in these moments. In fact, I’m pretty sure I left nail marks where I was clinging so hard on this particular day.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Please, don’t mistake me. That waiting until it does finally all make sense? Or even some of it finally makes a tad bit of sense? It can be downright agonizing. There is always the temptation to move forward in our own strength, what little is left. Or in our own might, what little we can muster. Or with our own plans, so carefully conceived.
But, if we’ll wait patiently, hands outstretched to The Only One who can make it all clear? We might just get something like this:
And Just. Like. That. A downward spiral is halted in its tracks. A renewing of the mind takes place that couldn’t before. A hope is restored to all involved.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Does this mean that everything is rosy all over? Not a chance. Life is messy. In this house, it gets Messy with a little Crazy thrown in for good measure. But. But! We have a hope that will not disappoint.
Then you will know that I am the Lord;
those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”
And that? That’s not hard to read At All.