Have you ever tried to stuff a sleeping bag back into its original shape and wind those stretchy cords around it, just so? Does it work out that well for you? Because it never does for me. And I can tell you one word that most certainly would not describe me at the end of that effort? Serene.
Sometimes, I feel like our life with Sweetboy, this child that has Autism, is just like that. I know what the “shape” of a typical boy should be. The rough and tumble, boisterous, full of gusto world that is so often spoken of by parent after parent. And I just can’t seem to fit those blasted stretchy cords over his atypical person.
One of the ways that I’m able to get my “Let. It. Go” on is in relation to parenting our Sweetboy. There are these kinds of days:
And then, there are these kinds of days:
And guess what? I don’t get to choose. I’m 101% certain that most parents will agree, typical child or special needs child, it doesn’t matter. There will be moments where that parenting thing? It just will not roll your way, simply because your child is an entirely separate human being from you. And he or she is going to feel, think, and say things completely other than you would.
Much like we think differently from our Father, who art in heaven. He leaves no room for uncertainty here. And I am so grateful.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
And my child, with an Autism Spectrum Disorder? He teaches me, daily, about reliance. On God. And His timing.
“But I trusted in, relied on, and was confident in You, O Lord; I said, You are my God. My times are in Your hands;”
I, quite simply, must rely on, and rest in, His ability to control the outcome. Serenity is so much easier said than done, though.
Because, some days? Some days when I stumble down the stairs to see All The Hopping, I also see that it’s going to be a day filled to the brim with this:
And I think to myself, “Alrighty then. If that’s how we’re going to roll today, Lord, I’m gonna need some help. And serenity. Because that wouldn’t hurt either.”
As Karen Ehman so eloquently put it in her book, Let.It.Go.,
“Instead of longing for God to change the trajectory of your life’s story line, look for his face as you practice your faith at each twist and turn along the way.”
Amen to that! Now, bring on the cardboard. And the serenity, please. Oh, yes indeedy.