When You Want All The Bananas

Selfish.  I’ve been feeling so selfish, lately.  And now I can’t get a particular Veggie Tales segment out of my head.  “Stop! Being! So! Selfish!”  Sometimes, I really just want all the bananas.  Or, all of the strawberries. All to myself.  Only, lately? The bananas represent hours and the strawberries represent minutes, and I can’t quite give them over to the One who provided me with them in the first place.

I take and eat and gorge and want for more.  And it doesn’t satisfy.  I wonder, in those moments of “too-tight” schedule, or jeans, or both, why I can’t just allow the God of All Creation to dole out the amount of bananas or strawberries (or maybe even grape-like seconds?) as He sees fit.

Why must my own sense of entitlement and desire must come crashing in to ruin a perfectly good melding of Giver and Gift.

He gives me this:

Beautiful_Dusk_Sky_Missindeedy

And I ask for more?

Sometimes, I feel like I’m still 14 instead of the other way around.

This is all coming about because I’m horrified by my Sweetgirl’s behavior lately.  I take it as a hit to my Parenting.

But, if I’ll get real honest with myself, my own selfishness is obviously starting to rub off.  And I don’t like the fallout of that.  Not one bit.

Time to go back to that One Word of mine, for 2013 and dig into it again.  Intentional. I must pray for intentionality. I can’t expect her to be thankful and self-less if I’m not.  Why that’s been so all-fired hard to remember lately, I have no idea.  But, indeed, I’ve been forgetting.

And so, I’m writing it out there for all the world to read.

In hopes that I’ll get some earthly accountability.

And prayer.

Because, parenting is tough enough.  Doing it without people praying for you, though?  That’s even tougher.

I know there are some of you who are praying for me even as you finish reading this.  Thank you!  Now, how can I pray for you?

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15 thoughts on “When You Want All The Bananas

  1. Pingback: A selfish man | Hope of light

  2. Oh wow, I can so relate. I am struggling lately with my 12yo daughter’s attitude, but am realizing more and more that she often model’s my own behaviors. I am praying for you!

  3. Oh my dear…I am SO there with you. Praying for wisdom and peace as we parent these amazing little people. And an extra dose of strength on those not so sweet days. Hang in there!

  4. It’s so funny to read this right now, Missy, because I sat in church Sunday morning and kept hearing that I am too self-centered, over and over…except that wasn’t the message at all!! And it’s true…I am, and I need to grow. But I also think I beat myself up too much. I need to stand on the truth of God’s grace and keep walking forward, stumbles and all. Praying for you, too, friend, that God will lift you up and encourage you along. ❤

    • Jacqui, your prayers for encouragement are felt and appreciated. I love that – “standing ont he truth of God’s grace…” Yes!

  5. Do I ever hear you…there are at least four (hundred) things that I ought to be doing right now, and which I am going to get to in a few minutes…thank you for the gentle push in the right direction. 🙂 Praying for you, friend.

  6. Oh, Missy, my soul sista. I’m praying for you today. In fact, I just finished up writing a post about my own selfishness and distractions. Will post later today. And then you can pray for me. Blessings, friend.

    • I’m praying for you, Tanya. Mostly that you won’t be talked into another pet. 😉 Selfishness and distractions – evil; sometimes not even disguised. Thank you for your prayers – you’ve got them too!

  7. Oh my word, I could have written every single one of these words. It’s just. so. hard. Praying for resolve and a face like flint for you as you focus on intention — and that the darn enemy would let up in trying to distract. Amen.

  8. Sister, I hear ya. I’ve been feeling out of whack myself. I’ve let too much go. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but I’d have to write a thousand words to explain. Sometimes we just have to stop and clean up our messes. I’m always amazed by how much Veggie Tales has influenced my thinking. Seriously. It’s great and kinda creepy at the same time. I mean, can you imagine admitting that God spoke to you through a tomato? Shows you what age level I operate at.

    Praying for you. Life is one of those things takes work until the end, so keep moving forward and enjoy those gorgeous sunsets.
    ~FringeGirl

    • Stopping to clean up the messes with you, FringeGirl. Thankfully, Veggie Tales has given me some great tools for that. (I must be operating at the same level as you. ha!) Thank you for your prayers – praying for you too.

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