You Too?

One of my favorite quotes of all time is by C.S. Lewis.  He was so wise.  He said, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”


Isn’t this the truth?

We write of our pain in the midst of our relationship woes, or the joy in our once-in-a-lifetime moments, and we find suddenly that there are others who have walked this same road.  Share this same pain, or joy, or confusion, or desire to get it right.

It was that – the desire to get it right, that drew me to Jen.  We were about as different as different could be on the outside.  But, we were both fresh out of college with our Teaching Degrees clenched tightly in our fists, ready to strike out and become the  Best Teacher Ever! And then, reality set in.  We quickly realized that we would need to do a little ladder climbing to get that coveted Classroom Teacher position.

We were teacher aides in classrooms next to each other.  We bore the same burdens of caring for the particular student in the elementary classroom’s we’d each been assigned to, as well as providing the support that the classroom teacher needed to carry out his or her duties for the other 24 students in the room.  The days seemed overly long at times.  The wait for our own title of “Classroom Teacher” seemed to stretch out even farther.

But, in the lunchroom, over my can of Spaghettios with franks and devil dog, and her neatly made sandwich and apple, we bonded.  She laughed as I regaled her with stories of the day’s goings on.  I listened intently as she rattled off a list of lessons she daily learned.  And we re-fueled each other with our camaraderie for the last half of each day.

But when we really hit the deep layer of our friendship was when she invited me to her Bible Study.

Not long after that, we became more than friends.  We became sisters.  Bonded not only by vocation, but by our heart’s home.

Jen moved on to a private school.  I moved on to “Classroom Teacher”.  Then Jen moved on to assistant Headmaster.  I moved on to Educational Director at a non-profit.

I married and she was my Maid-of-Honor.

We still spilled stories of laughable moments and lessons learned.  And leaned on each other for support and encouragement.

She married.

I had my first child.

We still shared and encouraged and bolstered one another’s spirits.

And then, she moved on… to another state.  Far, far away.

Too far, friend!

I live my life now in the Post-Jen-Era.  I still get that needed encouragement or share that silly moment that makes us both laugh or cringe.

We just do it long-distance.

You too?


I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker and the beautiful community of writers for her Five Minute Friday writing prompt. Click the button below to add your own thoughts on “Friend”, or to read what it brought to mind for others.  


18 thoughts on “You Too?

  1. Yes Ma’am. You KNOW I get it! Alabama is a LONG way from Jersey! But, thankfully, friendships like those can overcome distance and time. I am blessed, too, to have a few Jens. I wish you lived closer and I think we’d be B/F/F’s… 😉

  2. Oh, this one is bringing tears…I just had a visit with some of my friends from seminary days, and there is nothing like friends from that time and place. I’m so glad you have Jen.

  3. Having moved 3,000 miles from all my Jen’s, it’s memories like these that keep the friendships solid, withstanding the tests of time. I’ve been feeling especially reminiscent lately, and this touched a tender place in my heart.

  4. As I have connected with some old friend via facebook I realize how much I wish I had worked harder at keeping those relationships going. I have been blessed with new ones that I have been able to nurture but I missed the ones that knew me when…..

  5. Your post made me laugh! “Post-Jen-Era” is exactly what I’m going through with a far-away best friend. It’s hard, but thank goodness for the internet, right? And phones, and writing, and so many other things that keep us connected. 🙂

  6. Yes, me too! My Jen has lived 1600 miles away from me for over 15 years now … but I’m retiring in a few months and my husband and I are going to move back! She and I have stayed close and every time we see each other it is as if we have never been apart, and I am so excited and happy to be going back to where she is! Thanks for a great post.

  7. Yep, me too… all my friends are all over the place with our military life and moving as a teenager. Aren’t we so “Stinking” glad for the internet and before that UNLIMITED long distance on our house phones?
    Cherished friends, you must keep collecting them!
    Have a great Friday!

  8. Friendship is a beautiful thing. I am so thankful for the amazing women God has provided to me as my cherished friends. Now if we could just make the distance not so great and the visits more frequent…

  9. Yes, me too. My friend, Viviane and I haven’t lived in the same city or state for long since junior high…when we first met. My marriage, her divorce (sadly), her son, my two sons later and we have been friends for 25 years and I look forward to 25 more. I loved reading about your friendship and am a teacher (not at the moment, staying home) and she is a working on her Ph.D to be an official college professor. 🙂

  10. My person moved to CANADA eight years and six babies ago. It’s so, so hard. But we made a deal: we see each other every year. One time we fly; the next time, they fly. And we never part without already knowing the next time we will see each other. We still cry at every goodbye.

  11. Dear Missy
    I feel your longing for your dear friend, Jen!! My best friend from school stays in Namibia and is going through a divorce right now! How I wish I could be there to support her. Thanks for sharing your precious memories!

  12. Yes, my best friend and I are now separated by miles. We just spent the last weekend together at the Jumping Tandem retreat. A special time for sure. It’s like we just pick up the conversation where we left it, as if no time or distance had separated us. Isn’t that what true, deep friendship is for? Lovely write, I could relate and your different lunches revealed so much.

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