Making The Shakes

Sweetman’s blender blew up last week.  This was cause for a Five Alarm Freakout, as he uses it every. single. morning. to make his healthy shake.  A shake, mind you, that he’s attempted to get me to try no less than 22 times in the last 4 years.  I’ll give him an “A” for persistence.

Anywho, Sweetman is a bit of a health food nut. He puts approximately 42 ingredients into this poor blender and expects it to just be up and attem’ every time.  (I kid.  He only puts 10 ingredients in there.)

I’ve attempted to explain to him that if he’s trying to pack that much “health” into one blender, it’s bound to explode.

He just sighs at me.

I wink back at him.

It’s the way we roll.

The irony is that I had just taken a picture of the before and after of The Shake Process to send to my friend who wanted to know what all was in it.  She suggested I post it for those of you sweet souls who are into that sort of thing.  You know… healthy stuff.

Here it is, in all of it’s glory:


The Shake Ingredients:

  • 1 cup Fat Free Plain Yogurt/Greek Yogurt (whichever your “pleasure” – can yogurt be a pleasure??)
  • 1 cup Frozen Mixed Berries
  • 1 banana
  • 1 cup frozen chopped kale (it’s all the rage, dontcha know?)
  • 1/2 cup flax-seed (he has tried chia seeds – they are gross tasting – just a PSA for folks who care about, say… taste)
  • 1/2 cup steel-cut oats (uncookedand not regular ol’ oats – apparently the “cut” of steel cut lends to their health factor. Okayyyyy. )
  • 1/2 cup apple juice
  • 1/4 cup 100% pure cranberry juice
  • 1/4 cup 100% tart cherry juice
  • 1 big squirt of buckwheat honey


He blends the flax and oats together first into a fine powder. (I asked him why he doesn’t just buy already ground flax-seed, by the by.  He claims they lose some of their health properties once ground – so potency is, apparently, key.  Whatevs.)

He then adds all the rest and blends it up for a good 1.5 minutes.

Hopefully, your blender will last a good while before going on strike.


* Sweetman most certainly does not need to know this, but, I don’t actually mind The Shake.  I just have to pretend that I can’t stand it so that I don’t end up drinking it every morning for the next 4 years.  Do ya feel me?*

15 thoughts on “Making The Shakes

  1. You make me laugh! I thought I saw some leaves in there…I wouldn’t have guessed kale! I’m with The DF. A bowl of cereal is a lot of work for me… 😛 But the real bummer is cleaning the blender every day. What is wrong with me? Seriously. I have problems.

  2. Missy, you’re so funny!! 🙂 I actually want to try this shake now! I’ve been wanting to eat healthier, but I get lazy and don’t want to do the work. Maybe I can get my husband to make me one! 🙂

  3. LOL! I feel ya! Your secret’s safe with me. By the way, I think you have a real future in cookbook writing. I wish all recipes were written like that, listing ingredients along with somebody’s 2 cents. I might actually cook more. Love it!

    • Tanya, right?!?! If cookbooks were less like “science fiction” reading and more like “well, why-ever-not?”, I would too! 😉

  4. My husband does self same – need to get him on the kale bandwaggon to use all those bags from my veggie box that I have frozen! Maybe he should put the liquid in first? Oh and where is his protein powder? I get one glass to choke-down before Crossfit!

    • Believe it or not, Rachel, he doesn’t add any protein powder. CrossFit seems to be all the rage now, doesn’t it? Must talk.

  5. Gotta love that man. I especially love that he puts in kale with all that fruit. I used to grind flax seeds in a coffee grinder. That was before I had a good blender. What is he doing now without his blender? Did ya run right out and get him a new one- lickety split?

  6. That’s a lot of shake right there! It does look yummy. I’d devoid all healthiness with a healthy dose of whipped cream on top for good measure.

  7. HA! This cracked me up, especially that last little bit.

    You know, I would absolutely drink one of these shakes every morning and love it, but I am too darn lazy (think zombie-like woman in a fluffy pink robe) to even consider such a breakfast. It’s almost too much to rip open a pack of instant oatmeal and add water. Yes, I am that bad.

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