Wouldn’t it be something if we didn’t act in ways that forced us to seek grace?
I think about that, in my quieter moments.
Because, if you’ve been around here for any length of time, you can imagine how often, mercy, I must seek grace.
Not being one with a tendency toward quiet and gentle, I have to work overly hard to cease All The Talking and All The Busy. I have to work harder, still, to quiet my thoughts and my mouth enough to hear those Petal Soft Whispers meant for my ears alone.
I fail at this – this getting quiet. Again. And again.
But, for every mishap, there is grace. And for each grace extended, my hands reach out a little more thankfully, and a little more desperately, for it.
My understanding of God’s grace for my mistakes has changed. I’m becoming more aware of my deep need for it. Always.
I used to think I didn’t need it. That one little mistake, one little sin, one little lie or mishap, wasn’t grace-worthy. But each one was. Oh, how they were.
Then, after a while of living life and seeing the many ways I was capable of messing up a day, I began to think that maybe only the bigger mistakes needed the desperate pleas for grace.
Each request was met with a resounding “Yes. My grace is sufficient for you.” For this mistake. For these many.
And now, now, I am in constant need of All The Grace that my God will so mercifully dish out. I’m more than desperate for it.
I’ve come to realize that I am destitute without it.
I truly have come to understand that:
I came into this world needing a Savior.
Many a thing has happened along the way to alter the depth of my need for a Savior.
Chief among those things, is my knack for finding a pit to grovel in.
My need for my Savior grows exponentially.
And while His grace is, indeed, sufficient for me, I still willingly covet it.
Because I am destitute without it.
Furthermore, and truly, furthermore, I am destitute without Him;
One hundred times one million THANK YOU JESUS’, wouldn’t be enough. He took this broken heart bleeding with need and bound it up with the very fibers of His being. Oh, thank you God. May I never take this healing for granted. May I never forget how strong my heart is now that it is bound up with You, by You, and for You.