Let Her Be More

Sometimes, I like to envision Memory and Perspective walking hand in hand.

While The Nana is away on a business trip this week, we are babysitting being companions to Ahab.

So, naturally, we cooked him his favorite dinner last night, steak and potatoes, and then headed out to Dairy Queen for a sweet treat afterwards.  We wanted his first night without The Nana to give him promise that we weren’t going to be Lazy Hang-Abouts all week long.  Ahem…

Ahab and I sat at a table, while Sweetman was waiting for our order, and watched the kids flit here, there, and everywhere.  While we did, two teenage girls walked up to the window all decked out in their teenage finest (read that, shortest and tightest dresses possible).  Their hair was teased and coiffed and I’m near to certain that they had a pound of make-up on their faces between the two of them.  They texted and lol’ed, checked out the surroundings for the few teenage boys working the counter, and generally did all of the things that teenage girls will do.

Ahab turned to me with a twinkle in his eye and asked me if I remembered those days?

What the what now?

I do not remember ever (just so we’re clear) dressing up quite that provocatively.

Or, maybe I’m just older than I want to admit to being.

Either way, I remarked that thankfully, sweetgirl was a lot like me and that I was pretty sure that she was going to be confident enough in herself to never think she needed to dress that way to attract attention. (Speaking it makes it true, dontcha know?).

I also might have mentioned that I was going to teach her that she didn’t need to “package” herself at that age, or any age, to attract the attention of men. And I might also have gone on about how I will be teaching her to care more about making her heart attractive.

Oh, the intentions I have…

And as we watched Sweetgirl flit, Ahab marveled at how precocious and outgoing she was and commented that, “Yes indeedy, (I come by it naturally, you see), she’ll do alright.”.

Isn't she beautiful, mama?

Isn’t she beautiful, mama?

I said that she came by her precociousness naturally, of course, because I was like that at her age, too.


But, what he replied with was not what I thought I knew of myself.

No. Not at all.

Ahab said, “No, you were actually kinda quiet and on the shy side.  You were much more cautious and a thinker.”


Now, from the stories about my formative years that The Nana would tell you, I was all sorts of spitfire in the personality department.  My brother – he was the one who bounced from point A to point B.

But I?  Well, apparently I was the mastermind behind the bouncing.

I’m left chewing over that and trying to make sense of how God brought me to such a place of confidence compared to how I used to supposedly be.

And I can only conclude one thing.

By. His. Grace.

By His Grace, I am able to remember that I am more than my outfit.

I am more than my appearance.

I am more than what others think of me.

I am more than what others may say about me.

“But by God’s grace I am what I am, and his grace shown to me was not wasted.”

1 Corinthians 15:10

And oh! How I pray that Sweetgirl always holds this truth close to her heart.

Let her be more than a conqueror, through you, Jesus, too!

Yes indeedy!

What truth do you want your own daughter, or the little girls in your life, to hold close to their hearts?

16 thoughts on “Let Her Be More

  1. I am sure both you and your sweet daughter will stay unique as you are intended in Gods’ eye
    just as you have always been. Men sometimes have a selective memory as to how they want to remember their children. You were sure of what you wanted at a young age just went about it quietly. Unlike our sweet girl who is much more vocal. You know, silent but deadly!Stay to the course…. you’re doing an excellent job, and hold on, the boat gets more rocky as the age increases. Wish I knew than what I know now… how important it is to lean on God.

  2. Very nice story. I wish the same things for my sweet niece who is entering high school in the fall. I gave her some P31 items to read, a journal to start and hopefully, set her on a path of seeing her life as God wants her to be. Oh, to go back and do it over again, and get it right. But, then, we wouldn’t be the women we are now since our experiences, good and bad, make us who we are today.

    • Sheila, SO true. We become who we are by being who we were. Sometimes, it’s easy to lose sight of that in the effort to shed the “old” and take on the “new”. Thank you!

  3. Dear Missy,
    What a truly sweet story…praying your sweetgirl and my sweet girl know their identity fully in Christ and don’t succumb to the great pressure to look and dress a certain provocative way…blessings to you 🙂

  4. Its crazy to see teenage girls today & I think how hard it is for them now… so much harder then it was for us…but I don’t know if its just because AGE has taught me things…

    Oh – to have the security of knowing who you are as an adult…. but then somedays, as an adult, I’m not so sure either…

    • That Age, it teaches even when we don’t want it to. 😉 Believe you me! There are days where uncertainty creeps in. There are days…

  5. You had me at ‘sweet treats’ and your perspective is just as delicious as I am rolling it around in my mind, looking at me in my own childhood and that of my daughter. I am now curious how my parents saw me at that age—I think a conversation with them is in my future. Thanks for the beautiful reminder of I Cor 15:10. I want my daughter to hold her worth (in Him), and her uniqueness (from Him) close to her heart for His perspective will cover a multitude of insecurities, misunderstandings and hurts.

  6. I have always seen the ways that my sweet daughter and I are the same. Both my hubby and I see our similarities and thought, this must have been how I was as a child. I had a very similar conversation with my Mom last summer. She said my daughter is nothing like I was as a child. I am still trying to figure that out…

    • It’s unsettling, isn’t it Ally? I feel a little like the foundation of who I thought I was, has been rocked ever so slightly. But then, I remember that The Foundation. And I am able to breathe and enjoy my daughter for who she is and the memories of who I used to be, both. Love you & miss you friend.

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