Plans Were Made

When the plans were made for Sweetman and I to leave our old church and seek a new one closer to home, we knew it would be hard on us, and even on Sweetboy.  Our eyes were wide open, as were our hearts. Careful planning went into exactly how we would “try out” each church that was under consideration, so as to minimize dragging the kidlets from church to church. To the Children’s Ministry folks at each church that we visited, I’m so sorry for the endless string of interview questions.

We prayed God that would steer us in the right direction, as we deeply desired to find a church that would provide connections for our quirky boy. Getting to know new people and making the effort to get involved were on our list of things that we knew we’d have to be willing to do. We sought wise counsel as we went along with our plans. We prayed some more.

Each factor that we considered was carefully accounted for. We made our list and checked it twice, as it were.


What we didn’t plan for?

How deeply this would affect Sweetgirl.  Always the one to get the short shrift in this family, she rolled with this whole decision from the get-go.


She received a birthday invitation from one of the friends she used to see at our Old Church. A lot.

And the tears… Oh, the tears!

“I don’t ever get to see that girl that I like anymore, mama. And I’m sad.”, said Sweetgirl.

My heart shattered into about five hundred pieces.

For her, yes.

And also, for me.

I thought we had planned for everything.  Indeed, we certainly had.

Only, our God reminded us that we’d left out one little curly cued factor.  And as she works through the hurt of change, I pray for the perfectly timed hugs and most needed words.

Change is hard.  It’s really just… hard.

How do you ease the hurt of change for the children you love? I’d really love some suggestions.

13 thoughts on “Plans Were Made

  1. Pingback: Find Your Special |

  2. Praying for your Sweetgirl. We miss seeing her dear face(and yours!) each week too. Katie was a bit younger when we moved up here but she really struggled when we got here to find her place and meet new friends. Hugs to you and your little one!

  3. Hmmm….truth. Praying for Sweetgirl. I know that pain.

    May she be met with, just like you said, lots of hugs, timely words and friends that will come into her life and be even what she needs…at her age.

  4. Oh mama. My heart hurts for you. I don’t have any insights or wisdom other than to pray (which you are), and give her permission and grace to be sad. Sometimes just having a good cry helps a girl, you know? Praying with you…

  5. My son was two when we left Maine and went to Florida for my husband’s schooling. My son hated it. He’s not a fan of change anyway. I remember one instance when we were in the car and my daughter, who was around one, was smiling and giggling in her car seat. My son looked over and said, “Why are laughing? I’m not happy. I hate Florida!”
    I feared he would never get over it. But, he did.
    Then when we moved back to Maine and my husband took over our old church, my daughter would pack her backpack and tell us she was getting on the train and going back to Florida and her best friend. I prayed and prayed. I was so afraid, because the train ran right behind the church and we were living in it.

    I’m not sure anything I said or did actually worked for my kids. It was time and growth. Change is hard. Maybe you can schedule some more “playdates” with her and this friend from the other church. Perhaps it will help her to feel more connected even though she doesn’t see her every Sunday.

    Prayers for you and your sweet girl.

  6. Aww, poor Pinkie! You know she’ll be okay in time but it’s hard to see your kids sad. I’m sure she’ll have a bunch of new friends at the new church in no time and maybe you can meet up with the old friends…in your spare time?!!!

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