And, I Can Do That

Forgetfulness is something I excel at.  Sweetman is pretty sure that I live and breathe by the quote, “I distinctly remember forgetting that.”.

I’m gonna just stand my ground here, though. It does wonders for a heart to forget some things, doesn’t it? Forgetting the one who did you wrong, for example; or, forgetting the humiliation of past mistakes. How about, forgetting how much we felt like we loved that boy that we passed the “Please check the box, yes or no, if you like me!” notes to, back in the fourth grade.

Yes indeedy, forgetting can be a really good thing.

Throughout this parenting journey, though, I keep forgetting what my job description really is.  I focus on how the world tells me I should parent.  I zero in on the things that I can never do and make myself out to be a failure because I cannot do them. Add to that, the reality of living each day with a child who needs More – more support, more encouragement, more redirection, reassurance, careful monitoring, and on and on it goes – and I can start to feel Less Than on top of feeling A Failure.

This gets me nowhere quick.

It teaches my children nothing that I want them to learn.

In these moments, I need reminders. Reminders of what my job, as a parent, really is.

Looking directly into the eyes of the one who needs me and needs more? That’s one of my favorite reminders.  Sometimes, I just need to stop, take a deep breath, and revel in the fact that I get to be part of this child’s story.  I suddenly remember that it is so not my job to parent perfectly.  And I am freed up, once again, to just hold him, love on him, remind him of how blessed we are to call him “son”.

And, I can do that.

Sometimes, it takes one of those days where a Deep Sigh is followed by a Big Hug. And, on those days?  I’m reminded exactly how those two things can accomplish more than all of the SuperNanny and Dr. Spock methodologies, combined.  I’m able to see that my children don’t need expert parenting techniques.  No. They need me. Present in that moment.

And, I can do that.

I am not going to get this parenting thing right.  

But you know what? That’s okay.

My only real job is to LOVE.

To give love to my children.

To model love for my children.

To emphasize love’s importance, here.

And, I can do that.

Because I’ve had an Amazing Teacher.

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9 thoughts on “And, I Can Do That

  1. I thought I had parenting under complete control. And I wasn’t shooting for perfect, just realistic – especially all the years that I did it as a military spouse, you know, alone.
    This year has been the hardest and the 2 that are still at home aren’t in need of much, but at the end of many days, I’ve felt like a failure. But I continue to give love and to model love through the realities of life.
    Thanks for this reminder Missy
    Hugs,
    Sue

  2. I appreciate your reminder that we aren’t going to parent perfectly. It’s hard to remember that sometimes…well, lots of times.

  3. My heart beats right along side yours when ti comes to remembering to parent MY kids the way God designed ME to do it. Why is it so hard?? But God is so good to continually draw us back to the basics. You’re incredible and this post touched me deeply. Love you!

  4. “…I need reminders. Reminders of what my job, as a parent, really is.” Wow! Kindred spirits once again. Those same little reminders have been on my heart lately as well. So as our kindred spirits continue to mesh, I’m praying for us both while we tackle this whole parenting thing with humility and grace. You are amazing!

  5. Yes, indeedy! The tougher the trials, the more important to model that love. There are some long stretches where you think they are never going to get it, but they do. 🙂

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