You may remember we had back-to-back episodes of Strep Throat in this house last month. Well, it’s the gift that keeps on giving…
What started as a strange little rash on the backs of my legs two weeks before Christmas has spread like wildfire all over my body. Not. Even. Kidding. And I would have lived with it…happily. And stayed covered head to toe in clothes that would not only guard against these single digit temperatures we’ve been experiencing up here in the Northeast, but also hidden the effects of some of the leftover Christmas cookies I may or may not have consumed recently.
But, once I discovered they were making their way upwards and started to see them in my hairline, I put my foot down. You do NOT mess with a girl’s hair!
Now, when my general practitioner initially took a look at this little rash those four weeks ago, she had no idea what it could be. “Maybe an allergic reaction to the amoxicillin? Why don’t you stop using it and let’s see what happens over the next 2 weeks.”, was her suggestion.
She then kindly sat down on the bench next to me to thumb through her manual of Every Horrendous Rash Ever. I became more woozy with each turn of the page as she kept murmuring things like, “Hmmm, certainly not that.” and “DEFINITELY not that!”. I may have gagged a few times and danged near passed out, but she was not to be deterred. “We” looked through
far too many pages of that blasted manual of ailments. Ailments, I’ll have you know, that I may need CIA level brainwashing techniques to ever remove from my mind. (I don’t know if the CIA does that sort of thing, but if they do and any of y’all “know someone”, please, help a girl out! )
So, back to the doctor I went. But this time, I was rerouted to my dermatologist. Now, I love my dermatologist. He reminds me of Mr. Magoo and he always has a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Plus, he’s seen me naked and never batted an eye.
Anyhoo, he saw me and instantly lit up with a huge smile and shook my hands warmly as he asked me to what he owed the pleasure of seeing me again so soon. I threw off that glamorous johnny quicker than a woman on fire and pointed to my head. “Look at this! This rash is creeping up into my hairline! You’ve got to help me get rid of this rash, Dr. G.!” Now, I think the nurse might have snickered a bit at the fact that I didn’t mind standing practically buck-nekid while I feverishly pointed to my hair, but I didn’t give two hoots.
“Hmmm…”, he said all calm-like. He then asked me exactly 2 questions before solving this mystery.
“You just got over a couple of bouts with strep throat?”
“Do you have a history of psoriasis in your family?”
“Guess what you have?”, he asked as if he was dying for me to know the answer and just couldn’t wait to tell me.
“A rash?”, I gamely replied.
“Better! A STREP RASH!”, he excitedly said.
Me? Not so excited.
I am apparently “one in a million” people who get an All Over Body Rash from Strep throat. Yes indeedy.
It turns out that I’m allergic to Strep Throat.
“Look! Look right here!”, he pointed to HIS manual of Every Horrendous Rash Ever (what IS IT about me that makes doctors think I’m up for seeing that business???).
My poor Sweetman doesn’t know whether it will make me happier to love on me or to not touch me all. My Sweetboy is “too worried that I’ll catch it, mama!”, to let me love on him.
But, as usual, God got the last laugh in this situation because Sweetgirl? The one who I could use just an ever-so-teensy break from? She’s all over me.
Like a rash.