One In A Million

You may remember we had back-to-back episodes of Strep Throat in this house last month.  Well, it’s the gift that keeps on giving…

What started as a strange little rash on the backs of my legs two weeks before Christmas has spread like wildfire all over my body. Not. Even. Kidding. And I would have lived with it…happily. And stayed covered head to toe in clothes that would not only guard against these single digit temperatures we’ve been experiencing up here in the Northeast, but also hidden the effects of some of the leftover Christmas cookies I may or may not have consumed recently.

But, once I discovered they were making their way upwards and started to see them in my hairline, I put my foot down.  You do NOT mess with a girl’s hair!

Amen?

Now, when my general practitioner initially took a look at this little rash those four weeks ago, she had no idea what it could be.  “Maybe an allergic reaction to the amoxicillin? Why don’t you stop using it and let’s see what happens over the next 2 weeks.”, was her suggestion.

She then kindly sat down on the bench next to me to thumb through her manual of Every Horrendous Rash Ever. I became more woozy with each turn of the page as she kept murmuring things like, “Hmmm, certainly not that.” and “DEFINITELY not that!”.  I may have gagged a few times and danged near passed out, but she was not to be deterred. “We” looked through far too many pages of that blasted manual of ailments. Ailments, I’ll have you know, that I may need CIA level brainwashing techniques to ever remove from my mind. (I don’t know if the CIA does that sort of thing, but if they do and any of y’all “know someone”, please, help a girl out! )

So, back to the doctor I went. But this time, I was rerouted to my dermatologist. Now, I love my dermatologist.  He reminds me of Mr. Magoo and he always has a mischievous twinkle in his eye.  Plus, he’s seen me naked and never batted an eye.

Anyhoo, he saw me and instantly lit up with a huge smile and shook my hands warmly as he asked me to what he owed the pleasure of seeing me again so soon. I threw off that glamorous johnny quicker than a woman on fire and pointed to my head. “Look at this! This rash is creeping up into my hairline! You’ve got to help me get rid of this rash, Dr. G.!”  Now, I think the nurse might have snickered a bit at the fact that I didn’t mind standing practically buck-nekid while I feverishly pointed to my hair, but I didn’t give two hoots.

“Hmmm…”, he said all calm-like. He then asked me exactly 2 questions before solving this mystery.

“You just got over a couple of bouts with strep throat?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have a history of psoriasis in your family?”

“Yes.”

“Guess what you have?”, he asked as if he was dying for me to know the answer and just couldn’t wait to tell me.

“A rash?”, I gamely replied.

“Better!  A STREP RASH!”, he excitedly said.

Me?  Not so excited.

I am apparently “one in a million” people who get an All Over Body Rash from Strep throat. Yes indeedy.

It turns out that I’m allergic to Strep Throat.

Perfect.

“Look! Look right here!”, he pointed to HIS manual of Every Horrendous Rash Ever (what IS IT about me that makes doctors think I’m up for seeing that business???).

Strep_Missindeedy

My poor Sweetman doesn’t know whether it will make me happier to love on me or to not touch me all. My Sweetboy is “too worried that I’ll catch it, mama!”, to let me love on him.

But, as usual, God got the last laugh in this situation because Sweetgirl? The one who I could use just an ever-so-teensy break from? She’s all over me.

Like a rash.

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22 thoughts on “One In A Million

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  4. Oh Missy, you do have a gift of making this stuff funny! The ending? Perfect!
    I am so sorry about the diagnosis, but grateful that there was one (no more wondering!)…and just to be clear: you are most certainly one-in-a-million. 😉

  5. I’m sorry, but I’m dying…laughing…I love your ability to make any situation absolutely hilarious. A true gift, sister. I’m so sorry to hear you caught the rare Strep Rash, but loved the image of Dr. Magoo all excited about the diagnosis. 🙂

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    • Soul sister, girlie. Soul sisters. Don’t think for one hot second that I haven’t decided I don’t have approximately 18 other ailments because of that horror show!

  7. Funny, I am allergic to Amoxicilin! I finished the antibiotic on a Wednesday and awoke to a head to toe rash on Saturday. Those spots? inside and out! The doc told me to take antihistamine immediately and all calmed down in a few days.

    • Inside and out – yep. Exactly. The antihistamines were perscribed in case I itch, but miraculously, I don’t. So glad they calmed that rash for you! And, you know, Rachael… we’re getting close to (in)RL time again. Right?!?! 😉

  8. I want you to know Missy, you ARE very special. You belong to a special club. My middle daughter has had scarlet fever TWICE – age 5 and age 7.
    I cracked up when the doctor scratched his head – literally – and called in a Ped Nurse Practioner. She recognized my girl, called it Scarlet Fever and left. (I think she really enjoyed showing up the doctor lol)
    My child wouldn’t tell me she was sick so strep starts in the throat, but the “toxic” part will try to leave through the skin if left untreated.
    When she was 5 it was from re-infecting herself with her thumb – which she understood at that point to stop sucking her thumb.
    I thought I would mention that after 24-48 hours after being on an antibiotic, you should replace your toothbrushes, but perhaps your meds weren’t strong enough to begin with.

    Hope you are all on the mend. I will pray for your recovery and for you to continue to be hilarious against all strains of disease ; )
    Love you sweet Lady!!!

    • You are such an encourager, Sue! I just think you da bomb. And, I’m praying we’re on the mend too. If one of my children so much as looks like they’re getting a sore throat, I’m either putting them out into the cold until it passes (would NEVER!), or I’m going to get a hotel until it’s all clear. (Now THAT idea, I’m liking the more I think on it.) 😉

  9. Oh, my. I’m glad you’re laughing. Is it crazy itchy?

    I can empathize. Two years ago blood vessels began breaking in my arms. Sometimes I spontaneously begin bleeding. I told my doctor that between the bleeding arms and my cough, I’m generally treated like a leper when I go out in public. She laughed and looked it up. Not a clue. Two rounds with the dermatologist later and they have concluded it’s caused by sun damage, an absolutely hysterical diagnosis considering we go months and months without seeing the sun. Apparently, I’m a one-in-a-million too.

    If your rash will go away any time in this next decade, you’re doing better than me. Mine will get worse or so they say…or more likely think maybe, because nobody’s really too sure, but it could happen. When I start bleeding from my face, I’m just gonna move to Hawaii and spend my last days as a leper on the beach, soaking up the sun! 🙂

    Hope you feel better real soon.
    ~FringeGirl

    • I shall head to the beach with you, Friend. And at least it makes for great conversation. Just, you know… not dinner conversation. 😉

  10. So I’m laughing hysterically while reading this and simultaneously thinking I shouldn’t be laughing because it’s just not funny my poor friend with a rash but alas… I am laughing. Oh girl I sure hope you’re on the mend and praying for clear skin and a household free from strep!

    • Thank you sweet Tonya – I covet those prayers. And, I’m so glad to spread some laughter. You know I love to do that – especially if it will take my mind off of my rashy self! 😉

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