If the letters ENFP mean anything to you, then you are my people.
If the letters ISTJ mean anything to you, then you are Sweetman’s people.
Put an ENFP and an ISTJ together, and it can be the perfect combination of BOOM!
You might be tempted to feel jealous of all the boom, but don’t. Those explosions make for some amazing fireworks, yes. But they also make for some doozies during the clean-up. Think, “lots of time” and “lots of effort” to pick up the pieces, and you’ll get the idea.
If you really knew me, you would know that I love me a grand idea and detest me some details. I also get easily bogged down in those little “d” words.
Tell me to come up with a fun way to rope someone in to volunteering for that fundraising event coming up and I’m on it. Remind me the following week that it was due on Tuesday and you needed it typed up, double-spaced, in bold font, and I’m liable to look at you cross-eyed. And, forget what you asked of me in the first place. I’m going to start running with the idea before you ever get to finish telling me the rest of the pertinent information.
Okay, so add impulsive.
You know, that might explain why I get side-tracked by squirrels.
Especially if they fly.
Anyhoo, a couple of decades ago, I took that Myers-Briggs Personality Test. I’ve included a fantastic Myers-Briggs graphic link showing you the most famous of each type. It’s fun to note that I’m almost equal parts Oscar Wilde and Martin Luther King Jr.
Sweetman is not.
As I mentioned before, it makes for some lively conversations.
What all of this personality test stuff has shown me over the years, though, is that labels do not truly define a person. Ever. Labels can help me draw conclusions about how best to approach working with someone who is, ahem, a much more methodical thinker than myself. But, it can’t tell me who that person really is deep down in their soul. Or what makes their heart beat faster. Or, even, what they’ll ultimately place the most value on, in their decision-making.
This is true of my marriage relationship, too. Knowing that Sweetman is practical and logical and takes every detail into careful consideration does not help me in Those Moments. You know the ones… I give him a grocery list of six items and state, definitively, that The Most Important Item on that list is bread. He’ll come back with every single thing on that list.
It’s the practical application of how his strengths dovetail my weaknesses and make us a stronger unit. It’s about using the gifts I’ve been given to serve Sweetman when he needs time to zero in on flies that keep getting in the ointment. It’s about him coming alongside me when my weaknesses are shining through, and turning the spotlight more toward my strengths.
Knowing that my husband is a practical problem-solver does me no good if I don’t allow him to sometimes helps me solve my problems.
Knowing that I like to see things through to completion does him no good if he doesn’t provide the time and space to allow that to happen.
I recently had the opportunity to retake that Myers-Briggs test. And guess what?
Loves people. Enthusiastic. Idea creator. Doer.
Married to thinker. Tolerates people. Less enthusiastic. Loves logic.
But that only tells part of our story.
The other part is that HE makes my heart beat faster. I hear tell that I make his do the same.
Whatever serves to unify us is what gets the heaviest weight in his decision-making. It’s the same right here, too!
And, honestly, I wouldn’t trade his ISTJ for any other letters.
Because, It’s a beautiful boom after all.
Do you know what kind of alphabet soup you are? I’m guessing it makes for some mighty beautiful booms in your neck of the woods, too, doesn’t it?