I attended a rockin’ Twitter party last night. It was a happy hour filled with flying fingers, cracked jokes, and community building. I was surrounded by a couple dozen amazing women, many of whom I am able to call “Friend”.
And, it was grace.
“The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you.”
– Frederick Buechner
Because, the party wouldn’t have been complete without me.
Without me?
Yes!
And it’s not complete without you, either.
It took me twenty some-odd years to own that.
And, my season of High Hair ushered that lesson in.
One of the most painful memories I have, is of being labeled an outcast by a group of middle school girls that I thought were my best friends.
I could say it was because I developed physically before they did and they were jealous. Maybe. It’s possible that they were acting out of a need to have control over some part of their out-of-control lives. Beauty wasn’t my friend back then; and that didn’t do me any favors, either.
I might never know why they shunned me as they did.
What I do know is that as a tender 12 year old reed, it broke me.
And, I took my broken pieces and receded into the safety of my tomboyish ways. Hunting and fishing with Ahab, skateboarding with Brother, keeping my face in the pool and away from the eyes of those who sought to bore holes into my heart. Those were my survival techniques.
And I surely did survive.
But God wanted me to see Him. And He wanted me to do more than survive.
So, He sent Grace striding into my life, all high hair and hairspray, frosted lips and Northern accent. That unmerited favor modeled a grace for my fragility. That one longed-for friendship did so very much to repair some of the damage done to my heart.
God tenderly repaired this broken reed and set it straight.
I learned a beautiful lesson that year: sometimes Grace comes through people. And He reminds you that what happened then doesn’t matter near as much as what you allow to happen now. It pours over you and into you and shows you that you are not alone, that you are loved, and that the pain of the past does not have to define your future.
Indeed! While Beauty and I never did make amends, Grace and I?
We’ve become BFF’s.
Has grace ever found you in friendship? Would you share here?
This is post #1 in my 31 Days of Grace series. The Nester is hosting her annual 31 Days of Writing. If you’d like to check out one of the thousands of unique contributions, click here. You can find my introduction post here.
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Loved this. Love you. Thank you again for being fantastic, awesome, you!
Ah, Lauren, thank YOU!
So…I didn’t have high hair…but thick, heavy glasses equipped with stylish hearing-aids that sounded alarms as my classmates walked by. Yep…I can relate! Great start and I look forward to reading tomorrow!!
Bethany, girl, I’ll bet you ROCKED those hearing aids!!!!
Lady, I feel you. Here’s what I think. The sense of confidence that comes from looking down at 80% of the world at age 12 is an unintended threat to smaller girls. It’s just everyone struggling with what they
look like. The one who seems least affected by doubt and insecurity becomes the target. I have thought about this a lot, because I am raising two girls who already walk tall in the world. But their hearts are tender.
I bet Ahab knew what he was about, showing you your strengths and that he loved you unconditionally.
And I think you are beautiful!
Girl!!!! Teaching our girls to walk tall in this world while not looking down on others, that is no small thing. Standing shoulder to shoulder with you, my friend.
I think I missed the high hair days–at least there aren’t any pictures. Sure glad I didn’t miss out on Grace. Great post.
No high hair??? But did you have feathered bangs?
Nope. Long straight hippie hair for 20 years until I got middle aged.
Love that you didn’t miss out on the grace, friend. Count yourself lucky to have missed out on the high hair days, tho. Trust me.
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