Eight Hugs a Day

Virginia Satir, a noted Family Therapist, once said that, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

I might be okay.

Sweetgirl hugs me no less than 10 times before she even leaves for school in the morning!

But, I suspect that it’s not the actual hugging act that helps us to survive. I believe it’s the knowledge that someone, the someone on the other end of that hug, cares.

Science has shown us that babies thrive when they are held and hugged. Research has born out what The Creator of all humanity intended by endowing a mother with the ability to nurse her child – we humans need connection. Hugs provide that. On a basic, flesh-to-flesh level, they usher in confirmation that everything is okay in this moment.

The apology is accepted.

The love is returned.

The parting truly is such sweet sorrow.

And sometimes, as when a Sweetboy and his mother engage in an epic battle of “why can’t I be like everyone else”, you just have to Hug. It. Out.

And grace?

Well, grace rides in deftly disguised as a hug.

And the boy-child is none the wiser.

But his mama surely is.

And other times, when a Sweetgirl throws a tizzy over some friendship slight that she may or may not have taken part in, but she doesn’t want to hear that of course, you just have to Hug. It. Up.

And the girl-child is none the wiser.

But her mama most assuredly is.


And she’s thankful.

In fact, she’s been known to get in a few extra squeezes, just for good measure.

If I combine all that hugging, and I pray for another opportunity, or four, before day’s end, that gets us right on up that eight a day.

And beyond.

Because, Grace always goes beyond the minimum necessary. -tweet that!



This post is day 8 in the Write 31 Days challenge.

10 thoughts on “Eight Hugs a Day

  1. Pingback: Hooked on a Feeling | Missindeedy

  2. Pingback: 31 Days of Grace | Missindeedy

  3. So…this hits home with me BIG TIME! I was never a hugger at all growing-up. In fact, that kind of touch completely freaked me out. I understand why…now…but even today there are times if I’m not prepared for such an occur acne, I find myself pushing back, freezing-up and frankly shutting myself off. As human beings, we need to receive a love that we can trust in, allow to take root and then overflow to others. A hug symbolizes that…I can receive love and I can offer love. It’s taken time, but I’m there. I’m a hugger. I want hugs…need hugs…offer hugs. I can let love in because I’ve allowed Him in.

    Glad I got that figured out prior to the retreat…man…I’ve never received so many hugs in one place in my entire life…and can’t wait to experience something like that again!

    Love your blog! šŸ™‚

    • Ha! Getting that hugging thing firmly in place, FIRST, always helps before a big outing like that! Receiving a love that we can trust in is exactly what so many of us are working on, right on up to our passing away from this world. Loved that Bethany!

  4. I’m way behind. My love language is hugs and my husband’s is not. So I get lots of acts of service and have to be grace-full enough to know that’s his love shining through. Sure would like a few more hugs though. šŸ™‚

    • Wow – what a great comment! (I refuse to call you Apple Hill!!! šŸ˜‰ ) I’m trying to learn how to be grace-full (love that – truly do) as I learn the love language that those around me speak, too. Here’s a virtual one from me(())

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