Sweetman and I have been married for fifteen years.
Can we just stop and take a few moments, please?
I’d like to take one moment to marvel at the fact that this girl, right here, who never thought she’d get married, ever, has settled pretty comfortably into married life with this guy.
Monogamy isn’t something that’s necessarily glorified nowadays, is it? Add Christ into the marriage equation, and most folks find that downright antiquated.
But, here I am – in a marriage that is not only centered on Christ, but that is also thriving.
And I LIKE IT!
I apologize for the yelling letters, but it’s true.
There are surely days that I most definitely do NOT like it, just as there are days that I pretty much love it. I know I’m not alone in that. Some days, we have to apply a thick layer of grace to our interactions. Finances, anyone? And, I’m just going to admit what many of us probably experience – many a married morning starts out with a quick smooch for the day, and that is all that carries us from one to the next. But, just like you would find the average in math, all days considered, I am solidly in the “liking it” camp.
I’d grab another moment just to celebrate and say WOOHOOTY! I mean, as Sweetman always says, that like Thirty Celebrity Years!
And, I’d be remiss if I didn’t take one final moment to thank God for yoking me with a man who will bear more than his share of our life’s burdens. Because, he does. Man… does he ever! Grace, modeled right in this house. Almost daily.
The days in and out of a married life aren’t always seamless. We’ve ridden some bumpy roads together, Sweetman and I. But, God, in His desire to see mutual honor and respect in this commitment, has proven faithful to get us through. Together.
I’ve learned a couple of things about staying committed. I’d like to share what works for us, here.
1. Hug once a week. Like, a good long hug. It doesn’t have to be that kind of hug. But, I can assure you, standing in your kitchen after a week of being ships passing in the night, one good 20 second hug will do something pretty great for you both.
2. Have a good fight once in a while. And then make up. I’d like to just remind you that I’m sharing what works for us. I know there is research out there saying that “strong disagreements” aren’t good for a marriage. But, I’ve looked at plenty more that says the opposite. And, quite frankly, I’ve lived my own stinkin’ study, right here in this house! A good strong disagreement, once in a while, does wonders for the spunk of a marriage. Reminding yourselves, after the making up, how your strengths so nicely dovetail his weaknesses, is a very good thing.
3. Get wise counsel. I’m going to boldly step out and make a statement here that might lose me a few online friends. Your girlfriend that just called off her engagement? No matter how godly she is, that is not the wise counsel you should be seeking about marriage matters. And, men? Your best bro that just signed divorce papers? Nope. Neither is he. That older couple from church that always holds hands, even at 88? Yeah. Them. Find someone who’s been around the block a time or four. Wise counsel knows that those fiery feelings burning a hole in your heart Right This Minute? They’ll pipe down a bit soon enough. And they’ll tell you that.
These few things aren’t going to make a bad marriage good. Nor will they repair deeper heart hurts that require some pastoral care, and maybe a PhD. But, they will help move you in the right direction.
Oh, yes indeedy!
So, what works for you? Do you have some tried and true marriage tips that you’d be willing to share here for us?
This post is day 15 in the Write 31 Days challenge.