Hooked on a Feeling

A study was published, about a decade ago, that intrigued me. It claimed that hugging your partner for 20 seconds significantly lowers your blood pressure and promotes a better stress response.

I’ll speak for myself, here – I. Need. That.



I know that I’ve mentioned the whole “hugging thing” before. I guess it’s no secret that I’m a Hugger.  There’s a flip side to that, in my marriage, though. When I’m hurt, angry, or disappointed, I withhold the hugs.

And, it hurts both of us.

I need my oxytocin!

Our marriage needs The Oxytocin!

Before you go worrying that I’ve gone down a bad path, oxytocin is a naturally occurring hormone in our bodies that lowers stress. It’s also commonly referred to as a “bonding hormone”. It doesn’t take a rocket researcher to figure out that a marriage can use all the bonding support it can get.


Knowing that a little extra hugging does a marriage good, is helpful. It also means that when I withhold the hugs, it’s a double-whammy.

Not to mention the fact that Sweetman and I desperately need the grace that those extra seconds of hugging bring to our feelings. Because, I don’t know about you, but for me?  Feelings don’t always cooperate with monogamy, commitment, or love-as-an-action-word.

And, For The Love, I wish they would!

But grace courses through our veins when we hug it out. We are given the opportunity to press pause on the marital discord. Fueled by proximity and a whole lot of blood pressure lowering oxytocin, our bond is strengthened.

A cord of three strands is not easily broken. But, when it is, an extra long hug will reattach those strands, and firm up the tenuous ones.

Go on, now… give it a try!


Today is day 30 in the Write 31 Days challenge over here.

One More Day! Wait till you see how hot it gets tomorrow…

8 thoughts on “Hooked on a Feeling

  1. I’m not sure if it’s destiny…but the few times I’ve FINALLY been able to comment on your AMAZING blog…the posts are about hugging! Hmmmm….

    Yet, you made me question something tonight that, yes, I need more hug time with my guy. I get TONS with my kids…why have I been holding back with him?

    Uh huh…talk about getting under the hood…making a pit stop! 🙂

    Thanks friend! Needed this…and maybe….just maybe…I’ll be a hugger one day!


  2. I’m not a huge hunger in general but definitely am with my hubby and daughter. Our daughter is a massive cuddle bug and I get many doses a day. What a joy!

  3. Enjoyed reading this post. I think that hugging is such a great way to connect on a deeper level and I fully agree that hugging for 20 seconds can lower stress and blood pressure. Lives would be changed if we hugged more 🙂

  4. Such a great reminder. It’s funny how early on in relationships, you can seem to touch enough. But as time goes on, you need a reminder to do something as simple as pausing for a long hug!

  5. Pingback: 31 Days of Grace | Missindeedy

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