A Breakfast Script

Interests that I used to be able to pursue, with no thought to anyone other than myself, are sorely missed around these parts. Things like… sleeping in.

Or, just sleeping.

For one long continuous eight-hour stretch.

Without someone falling out of the bed, having a nightmare, or snoring so loud that I’m half tempted to use the pillow for something other than covering my ears.

Other things I miss doing?

Taking a shower. Without being barged in upon to ask if everyone is different, or if we’ll meet Sweetdog in heaven, or if I’ll make waffles (Really, children?  I’m in the shower!).

But the thing I think I miss doing the very most is being able to keep track of  a conversation. I cannot seem to make heads or tails of them, sometimes.  And, unfortunately, It’s the simplest ones that really throw me for a loop.

Me – “Would you like anything else to eat before we go this morning?”

Child – “Sure.”  Why they can’t actually answer the question is a mystery to me.  Maybe they are politicians in training?

Me – “What would you like?”

Child – “Are we flying to see Nana and Grampy in June or July this summer?”

Wait.

What?

And just like that… poof!  My train of thought is totally derailed.

Coffee helps.

Sometimes.

But what helps the very most is being able to remember what it is that I asked in the first place.

Stay the course, Missy!

Me – “Would you like waffles or pancakes this morning?”  I feel confident that is what I asked moments ago.

Child – “Can I have s’mores for a snack when I get home from school, today, mama,” the little one asks.

Shoot.

Me – “Yes.”  Simple is best.

And then, “Can I have some waffles, mom,” from the bigger one.

Ah, that’s right! Breakfast!

Me – “Would you like s’mores for snack today, too?” I ask.

Now he looks confused.

We often say that Sweetboy needs a script to be able to make sense of social context in certain situations.

I’m beginning to think I might need one, too.

Yes.  A Breakfast Script would be perfect.

And, another cup of coffee.

Yes indeedy.

Some Things Just Aren’t Rational

I am officially caught up on Good Wife.

I am forlorn.

What follows is an actual conversation that took place in the 24 hours after watching The Episode.

Me – “Why aren’t you eating your chocolate marshmallow cereal, child?”

Child – “I don’t like chocolate anymore.”

Me – “Would you like a Hershey bar for breakfast?”

Child – “YES!”

Me – “Then, you still like chocolate. Now finish your cereal.”

Now, before I get comments about serving my children chocolate marshmallow cereal, let me state that this cereal is usually reserved for weekends. But, I was doling out whatever my bleary eyes landed on in the moments following The Most Shocking Episode of Good Wife Ever!

The last thing I was thinking about was breakfast choices.

I honestly couldn’t have cared less.

Did I mention that I was in shock?

I was still trying to reason out why!

Why, Josh Charles? Why? It wasn’t rational.  You made a mistake.

Call me.  We need to talk…

After I force my child to finish her chocolate marshmallow cereal.