Living in The After

We celebrate Sweetgirl’s 5th birthday today (Friday).  So, I’m up late preparing.  I thought I’d take an extra 5 minutes to write with my friends over at Lisa-Jo Baker’s Five Minute Friday community.  I’ve missed them so.  Click the button below to join in or to read what was written in a frenzy of unedited heart-to-fingertip-to-keyboard minutes.

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AFTER

GO…

He_Is_Risen_Missindeedy_Blog

It’s taken far too long for me to exhale. Moving into new diagnosis and new stages of development and awareness and territory.  I realize, now, that I have held my breath for far too long.  My days of mothering, loving, moving in and through and maybe, most of all, my days of Dark, have caught up to me.

After I exhale, I realize that what I needed is not what I had thought at all.

It is not more hours.

It is not more cooperation.

It is not even more love.

What it is, that I need, is to recapture the joy.

There is joy in the morning.

And I had forgotten.

It took a Sunday of rejoicing and pondering what all happened after the pierced nails wouldn’t hold, for me to get it.

He did that so that I could do exactly this.

And that?  That is cause for joy.

Oh, yes indeedy!  And I am going to slather myself in the joy of this rememberance.

For it is a time of celebration.

A birthday.

And, a new beginning.

And, also? A realization, and no small one, that because of what was accomplished after that horrendous Friday at Calvary, I can joyfully go about my days.

No more holding my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It already has.

And He won.

I forgot.

But I remember, now, that I’m living in The After.

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