Silently Correcting Their Grammar

Few things slay my inner grammarian like hearing someone botch a perfectly good word or phrase. Folks do it “alot” (ahem).

And I’m silently correcting their grammar.

Hearing Americans talk and write about the Republican and Democratic “cannidates” could spell disaster for the future of our country. And, I’m talking about the mispronunciation of candidates, not the potential election results.

I’m silently correcting their grammar, and praying for the elections.

Listening to a young lifeguard friend tell about the time she had to swim “acrosst” the bay to make sure someone didn’t “drownd” while goofing around in the surf, makes me cray-cray.

I’m silently correcting her grammar, while thanking God for her bravery.

But, for all intensive purposes, I think it’s best if people stop using that phrase. Because, for all intents and purposes, it’s being used incorrectly.

Providing me another opportunity to silently correct grammar.

And I make jokes with my other grammar abiding friends about this private act of silently correcting others’ grammar.

Never once did I give it another thought.

Until…

jokingly used a phrase with my sweetkids the other day. “Listen up peoples!”

And my children not-so-silently corrected my grammar.

Humility…I am still learning it.

Parenting, it is a mighty teacher.

Oh, yes indeedy.

I am trying to train those children up in the way they should go. But, Lord? Could my training not come back and hit me upside the head so very often?

While my defenses rose and I felt the need to shout-explain, “I know that!”, I felt Humility, Himself, knocking on my heart’s door. With each knock, there was a growing unease in my soul at my many silent corrections.

Proverbs 3:7 harked back to mind,

“Don’t be conceited, sure of your own wisdom.”

But, as usual, grace laps over the edges of my spirit as I submit my desire to know more to His desire for me to love more.

The rest of that “train your children up” verse? It says to do so in the hopes that when they are old, they won’t depart from it [their training].

I’ve departed. Oh, how I’ve departed again and again.

But Grace…

I’d like to stop departing now. Please, and thank you.

In the meantime, I’ll stop silently correcting grammar.

Thankfully, there is no statue of limitations on grace.

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Let’s Play a Game

It’s called, “Get a Clue”. Why are we playing? Well, it’s been A Day.  You know, one of those Extraordinary Days where you aren’t sure what exactly happened in the last 24 hours? You are, however, painfully aware that you are sitting on the tail end of that time frame with a headache the size of Montana and a patience wire all sorts of fritzed out.  Let’s play.

 

It all started with a visit from long distance best friends and their children last night.  We were in full-on entertaining mode and the children were in full-on We Are So Gonna Be A Mess Tomorrow mode.  I should have known.  Clue #1.  My sinuses had been acting up all day. It was darn near difficult to breathe and downright impossible to enjoy a glass of wine. Clue #2.

 

This morning, we were almost late to the bus.  We weren’t, mind you.  But when a child insists on riding the bus and only the bus,  almost is near catastrophe. Upon arriving at the bus stop, we realized that “we” left our water bottle behind.  Dear John!  Clue #3

 

The thermometer screamed at me. It was official; I had to miss Bible Study.  I detest few things.  I detest having to miss my time with my girls and my Bible every Thursday morning.  Clue #4

 

Sinuses being completely on strike, I thought I’d rustle up some homemade soup around lunchtime.  Or Progresso. Whichever was easiest.  I voted for Progresso. As I was the only one voting, I won! (Best election E.V.E.R.!)  And, I found one solitary can left in the pantry.  I was ecstatic! Until I chanced to look at the bottom of the can and find this:

 

Worrisome.

 

You see, this date was sketchy, even to my standards.  Oh, yes indeedy, I do have standards, people.  But they are slightly higher than this.  And that’s probably because I distinctly remember buying this can of soup about, oh, say… a year ago.  And it worried me a tad that something that can sit on a shelf for a sweet forever might be so very near its expiration date. No?  Clue #5

 

Sweetboy informed me that he is “6% nocturnal. Sometimes, maybe 8%.”  I was not aware. This could be because we had an odd run-in with a bat when he was an infant.  Or, it could just be that he is odd.  We love him all the more because of it. This revelation came after he spent the better part of an hour filled with tantrums  about having “comprehension”.  Which, we English also refer to as “constipation”.  Just to be clear.  Clue #6

 

So, just to sum up, if we take clues one through six and apply systematic Mom Analysis… I believe I won!

 

I should have stayed in bed.  Indeed!