I could also have named this “Scour Your Fangs” or “Sew Buttons on Your Underwear”. And some other fascinating phrases that The Nana (wife to Captain Ahab for those of you following along) used with us kids growing up. I use those same phrases now with my own sweet children and the neighborhood kiddos. It never ceases to amaze me how long it takes for a lot of kids, these days, to catch the irony. Now, sarcasm? This generation of kidlets have that market cornered. And it would seem that most of the words that come out of the mouths of the 7-13 year old crowd are made up of sarcastic phrases.
But irony? It seems to be a lost art. And it bothers me. It might be because sarcasm always sounds like so many knives in my ears when kids use it. The elementary school teacher in me cringes because we seem to be letting proper use of grammar and English slide more and more toward the crass. Truthfully, though, it bothers me because I don’t want my Sweetchildren to be considered rude. That little bit of Southern girl still in me, or maybe that “Manners” gene in me, wants my Sweetchildren to be considered well-mannered. (Special note to The Nana – it’s shocking to you, I know. You thought the day would NEVER come when I would truly give a rats toot for manners. It turns out that the “White Gloves and Party Manners” class, you
forced encouraged me to take, wasn’t all for naught. You’re welcome. And Happy Mother’s Day early…) One crazy little thing that puts joy in my heart is hearing a child say “No, thank you.” Or, “Yes, please.” It goes back to that whole “certainty” thing. I want to know that there are some things that will hold importance generation to generation. And with that, I’m off in a cloud of turtledust to instill some more manners into my Sweetchildren. Oh, yes I am. In my pajamas. With coffee in hand. Indeed.