What I Learned On Vacation

On vacation, I learned a few things.  Try, just try, I ask you, not to be impressed.

  1. Family time is precious, indeed. (In a related lesson, cousins sleeping in the same room after being apart for 6 months? No sleeping in. Ever.)
  2. Brushing your teeth in the morning as you listen the ocean lap the sandy shore? Blissful. (Hazelnut coffee after a Listerine rinse, however? Not so blissful.)
  3. Sheets that smell of the beach and have a bit more sand in them every day? The best! (Washing said sheets a couple of times each when you get home to rid them of said sand? Not so much.)
  4. Thank you God for inventing shrimp!  And, no, as it turns out, you can not over-shrimp yourself.  Just ask my family. (I think my new peachy-pink skin color suits me just fine, thankyouverymuch.)
  5. Being unplugged for the week is quite a feat. (If you don’t count the 2 iPads, 3 DS’s, and 4 iPod Touch’s that were necessary to allow the adults to enjoy adult conversation. We don’t count those, right?)
  6. Margaritas taste better when shared over a rousing game of Spades. (And apparently, my spades game improves with each new pour. Especially considering we narrowly averted a lost “nil” due to dealer error.  Let no more be said on the matter.)
  7. Moments like this make it worth every cent of the grocery bill that somehow triples when away from home:

    Footloose and fancy-free… just the way I like ’em.

In other news, I went on vacation and all I got were these lousy mountains of laundry.

The majesty of these mountains escape me…

“Why, that’s only 5 loads!”, you may be tempted to say.  No, no, my friend.  That was simply as many loads as I could get into one shot without revealing the disaster zone that is my house right now. And, although I have no problem what-so-ever sharing pictures of my dirty unmentionables with you, I simply must draw the line at pictures of the dust bunnies and toy box that looks like it vomited all over the floor.  Of every. Single. Room.  I’m off in a cloud of turtle dust to vacuum some sand and ponder my lessons learned. Oh, yes indeedy.

You Know That Moment When?

You finally have approximately 7 minutes to yourself and you’ve got wax on your upper lip and you’re trying to psyche yourself up to rip it off but the doorbell rings and you think “surely, surely someone else in this house will be answering the door” because you certainly can’t without scaring the ba-doodle out of whoever’s actually at the door and/or whoever is answering the door? Only, no one does? Yeah, that.

Or, you finally get the box from Major Online Retailer containing your precious liquid gold coffee pods that you’ve been desperate for and you carry it all the way through the house to the kitchen only to open it up and take the smashed-up box of coffee pods out to find this at the bottom? And now you see that you’ve left a lovely dark TNT-like trail of coffee grounds from the front of the house to the back?

Why is there so little in the box, you ask? That’s because the other 80% of the pods are now strewn throughout the house.

Yeah, that too.

And then, of course, there’s that moment when you ask youngest sweet child if she’s all done going #2 and she says “NOT YET MAMA!” and you think, “Alrighty then, maybe I have 1.4 minutes to jet the folded laundry upstairs so that at least it’s somewhere in the vicinity of the bedrooms instead of on top of the dryer like it has been for the last week day or two.”, but as you are coming back down the stairs, sweet child looks at you expecting a compliment because, “I am ALL DONE wiping, Mama!”, only, she oh-so-clearly isn’t?

Oh yes, indeedy.


So, you give up for a quick moment and have a sit-down to check your email and find that the rush-order you placed for things you need for your trip on Thursday morning have been delayed and might be there by… Thursday instead of Wednesday, as planned? Yup.

Monday – 1

Missindeedy – 0

On the bright side, (or, terrifyingly), the day is only half done. So there’s that.