Eight Hugs a Day

Virginia Satir, a noted Family Therapist, once said that, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

I might be okay.

Sweetgirl hugs me no less than 10 times before she even leaves for school in the morning!

But, I suspect that it’s not the actual hugging act that helps us to survive. I believe it’s the knowledge that someone, the someone on the other end of that hug, cares.

Science has shown us that babies thrive when they are held and hugged. Research has born out what The Creator of all humanity intended by endowing a mother with the ability to nurse her child – we humans need connection. Hugs provide that. On a basic, flesh-to-flesh level, they usher in confirmation that everything is okay in this moment.

The apology is accepted.

The love is returned.

The parting truly is such sweet sorrow.

And sometimes, as when a Sweetboy and his mother engage in an epic battle of “why can’t I be like everyone else”, you just have to Hug. It. Out.

And grace?

Well, grace rides in deftly disguised as a hug.

And the boy-child is none the wiser.

But his mama surely is.

And other times, when a Sweetgirl throws a tizzy over some friendship slight that she may or may not have taken part in, but she doesn’t want to hear that of course, you just have to Hug. It. Up.

And the girl-child is none the wiser.

But her mama most assuredly is.


And she’s thankful.

In fact, she’s been known to get in a few extra squeezes, just for good measure.

If I combine all that hugging, and I pray for another opportunity, or four, before day’s end, that gets us right on up that eight a day.

And beyond.

Because, Grace always goes beyond the minimum necessary. -tweet that!



This post is day 8 in the Write 31 Days challenge.