Me Neither

You know that moment when you are reprimanding your five-year old for over-dramatizing her cough so as to freak her brother out with a pending pretend puke and in that moment where you are showing her what you do not want her to do, you gag yourself?

Me neither.

You know that facebook status update where you share with The Lord and all His people that you had left-over birthday cake for lunch and are happy about it? But then, the next day, you come down with Strep and jokingly hop back on to tell folks that it was the cake’s fault, but then people agree and provide you with information about how sugar depresses the immune system and now you feel like dirt on top of feeling like mud?

Me neither.

Have you ever had The Sick so bad that your husband had to come home mid-day and your quirky child refused to be on the same side of the house with you for fear that he would “catch” whatever you had? And you start thinking that if a Big Disease is ever in your future, it’s going to be awful hard to love on a child that insists on remaining 135 feet away from you at all times and so you start crying and praying that never happens all while it feels like a spiky golf ball is stuck in the back of your throat?

Me neither.

That moment that your husband rounds the corner with a steaming bowl of soup broth and his iPad and a tv tray so that you can watch your favorite comedy while sipping merciful goodness to soothe your sore throat and your heart swells with gratitude for the gift of this man and you love him more now than you ever did, but as you are thinking that and getting emotional, your throat threatens to revolt by making it so that you can never ever swallow again, so you have to squash the thought for pain’s sake?

Me neither.

You know that beautiful moment when your medication finally kicks in and you can slip off into blissful slumber?

Yeah. That.